I didn't see this coming to an extent that when it happened I thought that I was dreaming.
I had the expectation that God would raise my dad up , that he would live to be a living testimony to others but God had His planned purpose. A purpose at the time of occurrence I found selfish and very ignorant of a loving God . Spare me the senseless quoted scriptures that rubbed in more hate at Him. At that time I wanted nothing to do with God , wanted nothing to do with His Word and His works in me to some extent I almost burnt the books I had written in His name - I was at the brink of professing atheism.
Fellowship with saints become a bore , sharing scripture become a burden and waking up to a new day was futile .
Until the day I came back to my senses that I turned to God. I spoke to Him ; Man to man - kept all honesty intacted .
"Though he wounds , he heals that very wound " ...
He cut me very deep I must say . My dad was not your ordinary title keeper . He played the part very well yet not without foul. He fouled forward towards his own measure of excellence . All that he was set a great foundation for me. I was fathered well to an extent that I don't have my past to blame in how good or bad I will father my children.
There is no better way to deal with grieve other than running back to He who wound you in the first place . Off course there will be breakdowns now and then when you remember them but you must come to a point of accepting what you cannot change.
God our Father is there for you . You can trust His guidance. Allow His wind of comfort to dry your tears. Feed Him your cares and He will dish out His best for your life in His purpose.
