Monday, 14 May 2018
Rejection - a stepping cornerstone
That "no" and that "unfortunately" will always trigger negative vibes that make you feel unworthy, dumb and incompetent. In a way we have all had our share of rejection but none of the rejections we had truly define us .
Here are my two types of rejection :
1. Manifesto - Rejection that takes place immediately at the time of inquiry or presentation . Your proposal is rejected now , you are rejected now for that job and sometimes you are not given a chance to explain yourself. Manifesto rejection happens when the prospect has a particular qualifying criteria - hidden expectations at times.
It is easy to react sabotageously when manifesto rejection occurs that's why you need to development emotional intelligence. You have every right to ask why didn't you succeed for that interviewed , why did she reject your proposal and why is your attitude towards me that bad ?
2. Latent rejection - rejection that happens after conditional acceptance either by an institution or by another person.
This kind of rejection has a habit of occurring unexpectedly. More like a sudden rejection. Like being dumped by your partner of many years because you are unable to find work . Unpublished conditional acceptance brews latent rejection.
What matters on the aspect of rejection is the lessons you take from it. Your heart will be broken , your spirit will be crushed and you will face the temptation to give up on yourself.
If your value is dictated by who or what accepts you then you haven't come to love yourself unconditionally . Nobody will understand your value like you do. You need to be free from the cage of what other people will think of you to what God says you are .
Watch out for the amount of trust you put in a prospect lover. Don't overdo it ! Hidden expectations are the cause of many hurts. Set out the course before you sing " I love you too " . Give out your "Heart rules "
Actions that lead to rejection :
1. Impulsive agreements - Read the contracts carefully , there is always a trap in smooth talking.
2. Infatuation - You can't sleep to lust and think that you will wake up to love.
3. Under-preparation - Don't despise your opponent .
4. Unrealistic expectations - Avoid expecting a pig that doesn't love mud. Know their level of commitment. If you can work with it , great ! And If you can't, let them go !
5. Over-confidence - Don't be foolish. Pride is contagious, arrogance is a nuisance but humility is a darling.
That opportunity might have been important. Important only if it accepted you otherwise consider it as preparatory. Prepare for another one . Sharpen yourself . Grow from every rejection.
If you are moving in the direction of your dreams not life demands - every rejection will be your cornerstone. Go in to try always .
If you fear rejection either from people or that opportunity - you will forever be mediocre. The hurt of rejection isn't much painful compared to a mediocre life . You will never do anything great and extraordinary while you are making love to your fear of rejection.
That dream woman won't pursue herself, that dream won't fulfill itself and that opportunity won't find itself - you must be willing to see rejection from a growth perspective .
Remember that your steps are ordered by the Lord therefore acknowledge Him in all that you do . Remember not to grugde over people that reject you. They are ushers to the alignment of God's purpose with your life .
Understanding your worth !
A dear mentor of mine Pastor Harry Mashego shared a great parable on a mother's day Sunday :
A father gave his son a beautiful stone . He then instructed the boy to raise two of his fingers every time a prospect buyer asked how much it would cost .
Day 1 - He went to a local pawn shop .He raised two fingers When asked how much he wanted for the stone . The cashier answered ,"R2 , that's cheap ,I will take it " . The boy smiled and ran back to his father . He told his father what was offered to him . His father then sent him to go sell the stone at the museum the next day .
Day 2
The boy met a historian who was interested in the stone so much that he asked ,"how much? The boy raised two fingers again . The historian answered " R200 000 , thats cheap ,I will take it " . The boy smiled and ran back to his father. He told his father what was offered to him. His father then sent to a gemstone prospector the next day .
Day 3
The boy met the gemstone prospector who had much interest in the stone the boy had that he asked the boy how much he wanted for it. The boy raised two fingers again in response. The prospector answered " 2 billion rand you say then I will take it" . The boy smiled and ran back to his father to tell him how much was being offered.
My lesson from this is :
What you have to offer will vary in price depending on the mental receptiveness of those you are selling your solutions to in business. A dog will buy fish for less than anything but a cat will buy fish for everything.
It is not easy to get people at a ground level mentality to buy what they think tbey should be getting for free but if you are willing to not settle for less because you know that you are the best then you are on the right path. There is always temptation to under-sell yourself especially if you allow your circumstances and environment to condition everything that you are.
You need to spend time with people who understand your value , who will endorse your value and be prepared to do exactly what you require from others to others again.
Somebody out there is looking for the uniqueness of what you carry . The only way to find that group of people is to first understand your value , increase it daily in your habitual routine, capitalize on volunteering because that's part of your preparation, keep a humble attitude and continually devote yourself to God Almighty.
Just like the boy who endlessly continued to inquire of his father so should we . We inquire before and after the victory to avoid having conditional submission .
As he obeyed his father's instructions , the value of what he carried increased. Even with the increasing value. He came back home. The boy was grounded.
Don't be afraid to reject offers that don't serve your value right unless there is a preparatory directive from the Almighty .
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